I'm a mother's tramp

Why do teenagers go out of the house and whether parents prevent it?
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More and more often I come across on the Internet at reports that the child went for a walk and did not callback parents. As usual, such situations end without any incidents. The teenager sat up late with friends and has forgotten to call parents or didn’t hear the phone when they call. However, it also happens, when the children deliberately leave their home. Egor Glazkov (at the request of the hero of his name’ve been changed) told for “Surgutskaya Tribuna” his own story of family escapes.

I'm tired. I'm leaving.

In one of the Christmas holidays mother of 14-year-old Yegor came back home drunk. This brought the father of the family from itself. Christmas was ruined. Egor was about to leave the flat, as he was stopped and asked, – “Where are you going at this time of night?”

After, there was a quarrel. And young man came to his friends. He returned the next day. The family considered such an act too cocky and decided that the best way to show their dissatisfaction with the son will be hush. After four days of silence, Egor directly asked his father and mother about the reason for this attitude. Ego was reproached for the fact that he doesn’t give the family the proper time.

"How can I spend time on what does not exist?" - answered Egor. This claim is so angered teenager, that he packed his bags and left home.

About a month Egor lived in a house of his friend. During this time, his parents didn’t try to contact with their son. Only on the day when the teenager got his passport, his parents called him and asked where he had gone. After talking with parents, Egor returned to them.

But to his 16 years atmosphere in the family became tense again. Egor left home. For the whole year.

- It all started with the fact that we had to met our grandmother from Krasnodar. My mother worked at two jobs and my father at home for six months and doing nothing. Of course, it was irritating. My father started to swear that nothing is ready to the arrival of grandmother. My mother, in turn, said that she had no time - says Egor. After quarrel with her husband teenager's mother said she leaving the family.

After couple of weeks, Egor’s father found a job. All was quiet and went on as usual until Egor's mother called him and asked for a meeting. The boy's father didn’t like that idea. Mutual claims began again. Quarrels between father and son escalated into a fights. Egor decided that things cannot be proceed anymore. He packed up and slammed the door.

-I was nowhere to go. The first day I had not slept. I called a friend. He said that he has a job for me at the car wash. It was a two-story garage and I lived on a second floor. I was 17 years old then. And yes, no one of the parents didn’t try to find me me, - says the guy.

Egor tried to save up for an apartment for rent. So he lived until the car wash closed. Financial problems appeared again. To solve the problem Egor found found a job as a seasonal waiter in one of the restaurants. The money was enough to pay once for apartments, but the problem with constant earnings still remained.

- About two days before the next payment a friend called me and offered to stay with him until I find a job. I was lucky, it saved me from vagrancy. - Egor says.

He lived in such way from December to mid-May of this year. It’s been six months since he left home. In late May, Egor required to find three thousands rubles to pay the debt. He had no other choice but to call his mother. The parents gave him the necessary amount, and some time later they persuaded Egor to return home. Overall Egor was "on the street" 16 months.

Age of changes.

According to the Ministry of Internal Affairs at Surgut, since the beginning of this year more than 20 children intentionally left home. Of them seven have fled more than three times in a row. What causes children to leave comfort zone, which their parents is trying to create for them?

The most common cause of teenage runaways - a rebellion against the "home regime". Children can leave home because of the penalties that are disproportionate their act. Then cannot return because of the fear of parental anger. Sometimes, on a first look, family from which children runaway, may seems safe. But internal conflicts, which are based on lack of understanding with parents,  can destroy the entire family idyll.

- Basically it could be teenagers from 12 to 17 years. This is a difficult age. Age of changes. And misunderstanding of what is happening with them leads to the fact that parents tend to delay their development and to establish control, trying to regain their children's obedience. This brings teenagers to riot. They don’t like the fact that they are treated like small children. Even though they see themselves as adults - analyzes psychologist Vladimir Ivanov.

Experts distinguish two types of teenage runaways: motivated and unmotivated. The first follow from the situation in which a teenager is turned out to be - left home after a serious conflict at school or at home. In this case, parents should explain that there are many ways out of the conflict situation. Unmotivated shoots are secured form of behavior when homeleaving becomes a reaction to any bad situation. In such cases, experts advise to turn to psychologists.

Impossible to live in such way

Egor recently received a summons from the recruiting office. He decided that after all that happened, a year at a distance of thousands of kilometers away from the parental home would be good for him.

- Not that I am eager to serve ... For me it is an opportunity to think about a lot of things. Even if they (recruiting office) won’t take me now in the army, I’ll certainly leave. It’s no longer possible to live as it was. It won’t work. But what to do next - is unclear, - says Egor.

I asked him – Do you appropriate, when children run away from home?

- I believe that this is even useful. It teaches responsibility for their actions and makes you think how to survive. You solve problems, learn to interact with people. Everything that happened is made me to grow up. Even in a hard way. In other countries parents speak directly to children that it necessary to move out when you turn eighteen. Why do we grow up later than they? 

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Редактор: Ипполитова Екатерина Евгеньевна
Контент-менеджер: Силин Никита Александрович
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